This past week has been, as the subject line says, a week of accomplishments. I feel...well, accomplished! From finding new freelance writing work (hopefully...I have my foot in the door, at least), to getting a new computer, to helping out the Hindu Temple of Rochester with their Hanuman Murthy Sthapana, I've had a busy week. Helping out my local temple is the thing of note here, as how I helped is I got the company I work for to buy ad space in the brochure being handed out at the actual Hanuman Murthy Sthapana event.
It may sound like I'm tooting my own horn here, but...can't I do that occasionally? I know it's proper seva (service) to not expect rewards for one's community service, and I'm not expecting any, but I still feel like I need to shout my accomplishments to the world every once in a while. Again, it's that recognition, that positive feedback I crave. Maybe my soul isn't quite ready for truly selfless service yet...
Perhaps I crave this sort of positive feedback because I feel I've been held back for so long. I've been told that I've been a sub-par human being for so long that I want to prove otherwise. I may not need to prove it, but the urge is still there for some reason.
I know Shri Hanuman, the incarnation of Lord Shiva that selflessly served Lord Rama in the Ramayana never wanted reward...but I'm still human. By that, I mean I can strive to have qualities like the Gods, but I'm most certainly not one myself.
All I'm asking for is for people to recognize that fact...and that in spite of that I'm still willing to help people.