Thursday, September 12, 2013

Keeping the Pain at Bay

It's been another day since the last post, and the emotional pain is still there. I don't know why it is, to be perfectly honest...I know I have good things going for me. I'm studying the Ashtavakra Gita with friends from the Art of Living. I wrote something for the brochure that my local temple, the Hindu Temple of Rochester, is going to hand out as part of the Hanuman Murthy Sthapana, or installation of the new Hanuman murthy they have received (pictured below).
There are plenty of other good things going for me, and if I was really thorough, the resulting post would be several walls of text. So why do I still feel this anguish, this misery?

Sometimes I get a reprieve. Sometimes it's in the form of distractions, or simply my brain having enough of one feeling. But it doesn't last for long. I would try some meditation right now, but in the past, when I've tried to meditate under similar circumstances, I ended up feeling worse. Seems like I can only meditate when I'm already happy and/or motivated.

I should be happy...after all, I am going to the above event I mentioned. Therefore it's baffling why I feel so emotionally awful.

I know everyone has highs and lows. Perhaps I shouldn't analyze every single time I have such a change in emotion, and just accept it and move on. Still, for such a long period of sadness to come out of nowhere like this...I have to ask what is going on...

1 comment:

  1. Namaste,

    I came across your blog through the Western Hindu blog. I have PTSD, so I understand how you feel about the emotional ups and downs. One of the things that's helped me is meditation but I found that I had to be consistent with it, whether I was happy, sad, upset, anxious, tired, etc.

    Consistency with meditation has helped to clear my mind. That enabled me to work on a lot of problems I was having and see that some of the things weren't as bad as I imagined them to be.

    Another thing that has helped is reciting mantras but like with the meditation, I had to be consistent with it. You can also write down the emotion that you're feeling and then write down why you feel that way. That way you can try to pinpoint what exactly brought it on.

    I'm not sure if you've tried medication or not. A lot of people are against not using anything natural. I, myself, am against using anything long term. I started off with anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication. As I learned to pinpoint where the emotion's coming from, I learned how to deal with it at that moment. I still take medication but it's only as needed now.

    I hope this helps some. Just know that you're not alone.

    Em Hotep!