It's been another day since the last post, and the emotional pain is still there. I don't know why it is, to be perfectly honest...I know I have good things going for me. I'm studying the Ashtavakra Gita with friends from the Art of Living. I wrote something for the brochure that my local temple, the Hindu Temple of Rochester, is going to hand out as part of the Hanuman Murthy Sthapana, or installation of the new Hanuman murthy they have received (pictured below).
Sometimes I get a reprieve. Sometimes it's in the form of distractions, or simply my brain having enough of one feeling. But it doesn't last for long. I would try some meditation right now, but in the past, when I've tried to meditate under similar circumstances, I ended up feeling worse. Seems like I can only meditate when I'm already happy and/or motivated.
I should be happy...after all, I am going to the above event I mentioned. Therefore it's baffling why I feel so emotionally awful.
I know everyone has highs and lows. Perhaps I shouldn't analyze every single time I have such a change in emotion, and just accept it and move on. Still, for such a long period of sadness to come out of nowhere like this...I have to ask what is going on...