A few days ago I was feeling a bit depressed, blue, etc. That seemed to turn around quickly when I started to think intensely about Lord Ganesha - I did more mantra chanting, kept him in my thoughts, prayed to him, that sort of thing. Obviously thinking of God - especially Lord Ganesha in my case - can do wonders to keep one happy.
But sometimes I wonder if it's possible to have an unhealthy obsession about God and/or Lord Ganesha. I wouldn't know what that would look like, outside of religious fanatics and fundamentalists. I'm asking this because I apparently have this deep longing to be with Lord Ganesha as of late, and I don't know what to make of it.
One indicator of this potential obsession was a dream I had recently. I couldn't remember many of the details when I first woke up from it, but I remembered more as time went on. It was indeed strange. In this dream, apparently I was in some temple in whatever my mind thought to be the Andhra Pradesh state in India (note that I've never actually been to Andhra Pradesh...or anywhere else in India for that matter). The only indicator of me being in Andhra Pradesh in this dream was the English signage around this temple. So it probably wasn't actually the state of Andhra Pradesh. But I digress - in this temple, there was a procession of an idol of Lord Ganesha. After the procession ended, I prostrated in front of the idol, touched its feet, and the next thing I could remember was that I personally was being worshipped as Lord Ganesha!
Yeah, this sounds crazy, possibly even blasphemous - I had no idea what circumstances made my subconscious mind come up with this dream. I first thought it was my ego getting overinflated, that maybe I was even going crazy. I then talked to one of my blogging friends about this dream, and the best he could come up with was that it was a sign I should start taking my meditation practice and diet more seriously, as it was an obvious indicator of a desire to be close to God.
I still have no idea what the ultimate message was - and Lord Ganesha has been on the forefront of my mind since then. I still have no idea what Lord Ganesha thinks of me or how He feels about me. I don't know if my seeking of Him has been in vain or if I've stumbled on something big.
It's times like this I wish I could personally talk to Lord Ganesha...I want to know if I can ever earn His approval, for lack of a better term...
I think this is a sign of your Atman-that is, your "god-soul", or true self. We are all fragments of Brahman in a way, erm I'm not very good at explaining these things. Look up Atman and I think you will understand that dream right away.
ReplyDeleteContinuing my last comment, I also feel the same way about Lord Ganesh. I actually get all teary eyed sometimes thinking about it-but then I'm kinda sensitive anyway...Well I like your blog, it's nice to read about someone with similar experiences.
DeleteThanks for reading my blog, I'm glad you enjoy it. :-) That said, I did look up Atman on Wikipedia just now...maybe not the most accurate source, but I could certainly find worse. ;-) The Wikipedia article on Atman mentions Advaita and Dvaita schools of thought...and this dream seems to advocate the Advaita variant, of our souls not being separate from God. That would make the most sense, seeing I was worshipping Lord Ganesha in that dream then became him somehow - I think that would only be possible if the Advaita school of thought was true. It may not be true for others - but for me, apparently it better suits my mindset.
DeleteRamakrishna mission and their vedanta centers in USA sell some very inexpensive books and I think one must get upanishads and vedanta books from them. Upanishds explain Brahman and Atman very eloquently.Nice blog.
ReplyDelete