Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Beginning of a Metamorphosis?

I'm not sure what is causing this, but I feel a miracle is happening within me...

Ever since I started the new inhaler I was prescribed for my newly-diagnosed asthma, I've been feeling...wonderful. My mood has improved, my anxiety has gone down, even my previously high blood sugars are starting to become more reasonable. This is incredible.

I don't know for sure what is causing this. Maybe it was the Pradosham service I went to last Saturday at the Hindu Temple of Rochester. Maybe it really is all in the breath, as the Art of Living foundation teaches us, and the inhaler is allowing me to actually breathe for the first time. I honestly don't know what to attribute this new found power to.

All I can say right now is I hope it continues. I feel more blessed than ever right now and I feel like I'm transforming. Into who or what, I cannot say, because I don't know. But for once, the future never looked so bright...

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Perfection in Imperfection

Add another chronic illness to my repertoire of conditions - asthma. Or at least I'm led to believe I have asthma. Some initial tests revealed nothing out of the ordinary, but then later on my doctor prescribed an inhaler and told me to come back in for a follow-up appointment. This sucks...quite literally.

I expressed to some of my friends my feeling that this was a punishment by the universe for some slight I have done (though I have no idea which one), and although they have reassured me it is not, for some reason the idea still lingers. Perhaps it is because I'm not the best at caring for myself, as I mentioned in my last post. I know no one is perfect in caring for themselves, but...well, what's it take, huh? And why can't I find the strength to do what it takes?

Perhaps it is this frustration with myself that inspired me to do something that was formerly outside of my comfort zone today: I attended an actual service at the Hindu Temple of Rochester today, the Pradosham. I admit I had much anxiety about attending it today, but that anxiety turned into calm during the service. And I think I know why.

If I remember correctly, the purpose of the Pradosham is to cleanse oneself of negative karma. Maybe the reason I felt drawn to this particular service is to remind myself that I don't need to be perfect...that since no one is perfect, everyone can be equal in the eyes of God(s). And that even if I can't take perfect care of myself, I can still be a decent, genuinely human being.

I did enjoy the service, yes, but it took until just now to realize why I wanted to go to this service in particular. It is because I was taught something by it: as long as I am sincere, I do not need to regret anything!

Friday, September 2, 2011

Ganesha's Blessing?

According to one of my friends, the Hindu holiday period of Sri Ganesh Chaturthi began yesterday. The Hindu Temple of Rochester held an event in observation of it, and I really wanted to attend...but unfortunately, I was unable to, because of my lack of a car. (I've never owned a car of my own, sadly.) Still, my friend simply said to "meditate on him [Ganesha]." If these days are auspicious to the followers of Ganesha...then maybe the effects are starting to become apparent in my recent life. Both positive and negative happenings have occurred recently, and for some reason I keep thinking it's all connected to this holiday. I can't say for sure, though, but perhaps I could be right. After all, the two major positives I can report can be symbolic of abundance:

  • The freelance writing assignments have been pouring in, especially those related to video game journalism. I've gotten no less than four assignments in recent days about video games, and all have come with free games! (Provided I review them, of course.) I can't say what games, but the fact I've gotten four is impressive - I must be doing something right.
  • I'm helping out with getting another Art of Living course set up here in Rochester. Nothing concrete has come up as of yet, but if all goes well, I might be able to get this course set up practically right next to where I live!
It's all very interesting...ever since I became interested in Hinduism, yoga, and its associated spirituality I've been thinking differently about things. More specifically, the age-old "coincidences" question; whether or not the things that have happened in my life could ever be considered coincidences. I know I've asked to be "hit over the head with something" in my last blog post, and maybe this is a mild bop on the head. Who knows? Still, it's all fascinating.