Going Deeper

So what has happened while I was internet-less? The biggest thing I can mention is that I took a course offered here in Rochester by the Art of Living organization mentioned in one of my first posts (the one titled "On (Not) Being a Beautiful and Unique Snowflake" to be precise). (And I provided a link just now so you can learn more of them yourself if you wish.) While I can't discuss the particulars of the course due to the fact that I signed an agreement not to disclose what transpired in it, the course did teach me some meditation and breathing techniques that I have attempted to adopt into my everyday routine. I haven't been entirely successful doing them every single day yet, but I have been doing them often. And what I wish to write about right now is an experience I had today after doing these techniques and then going into meditation. This experience was quite profound.

Again, I can't discuss the particulars of the practices I have been doing that were taught to me by this course, but I was doing them around midday today after a couple of rounds of the yoga sequence Sun Salutation. However, while I was doing them today, I got inspired to change up my meditation routine slightly today (my meditation routine being to meditate to this particular Ganesha mantra I found on YouTube) - instead of just listening to the mantra chant, I would chant along with it. Turns out when I chant the mantra itself, it has...profound effects. I went deeper into meditation than I thought I could ever go.

What happened was this: after doing the techniques the Art of Living course taught me and starting the meditation, I chanted along, and as I chanted along, I started feeling rather curious and powerful sensations. My voice started to tremble, I started having tremors in my body, and I could feel tears coming out of my eyes, not in sadness, but...ecstasy, I guess. It's hard to put words to it. Visually, as my eyes were closed I could perceive shifts in colors - waves of color seemed to cascade down my eyes like a waterfall. The most profound thing I could see, though, was that I saw a single eye looking back at me...this eye seemed to express various states of emotion, from anger to curiosity to compassion. I admit when I saw it angry I became afraid, but only for a moment, as the eye's emotion shifted to another state soon after. However, the one emotion I didn't see in this eye, not that I could perceive, anyway, was sadness. I thought maybe this eye belonged to Ganesha, since it was a Ganesha mantra I was chanting to. But there was no way to know for sure.

For some of you reading this blog, this post must sound like the ramblings of a crazy person by now. But I know for those who really are my friends, the ones I trust, this won't sound crazy at all. I know my real friends will look upon this blog post with compassion and know that I'm not crazy. Because right now, I don't feel crazy at all. Maybe it's true that only the truly crazy think they're sane, but at this moment...I feel saner than I have ever felt.