Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Attacking the Darkness

Namaste readers!

It seems the content of this blog has gotten slightly stale of late, at least to my eyes...I can't seem to come up with topics to write about that truly inspire me. It looks like my writing has reached some sort of peak, in the sense that it honestly appears as if I've gone as far as I can go...writing doesn't seem to get me much of anywhere these days, be it in terms of recognition or adoration, paying the bills, or even personal gratification.

I will keep writing, and I will keep this blog alive by whatever means necessary. It's just that...well, in summary, I'm a bit burned out. Writing seems to be more of a chore these days than anything. I don't seem to be gaining anything from it. In response, I've tried going into some other artistic pursuits - I've tried drawing, most recently, and I can't seem to draw well even with instruction from a book or teacher. I've juggled around the idea of playing a musical instrument, but it seems like that road would lead to frustration. I know these aren't things that are learned overnight. I know one has to practice to be good at them. But for some reason, I can't muster the patience...

Perhaps this is the reason why worshipping Goddess Saraswati comes across as such a good idea to me right now, as She is the Goddess of Creativity. I've said some prayers/mantras to Her. I just wish inspiration, perseverance, and other such artistic blessings would come a little sooner...

I have the urge to create. I feel it's in my blood. But the urge to create, and the ability to create well, are two separate things, I've discovered. If I can't even create well, then why do I still have the urge? I'm even beginning to wonder what the point of me creating is. It's like I'm trying to attack the darkness - darkness isn't something that can be killed with just a candle. But that's all I have against it.

Please help me, Goddess Saraswati and Lord Ganesha...

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